urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth meet myself k8 ThE gR8 pi-R8! 2008-03-17T21:08:12Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:319152 2008-03-17T21:08:12Z 2008-03-17T21:08:12Z i reactivated this for a project lolz. i am writing a memoir and need some stuff.<br /><br />i'll probs make all my entries private just in case this happens again and i need something.<br /><br />ok bye. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:318172 2008-02-19T14:44:58Z 2008-02-19T14:44:58Z i gotz teh flu.<br /><br />AND my website is due this week. how much does THAT suck? i can't eat, i can barely move, but i some how have to get over to the labs before TOMORROW and finish photoshopping stuff. daaaang. thank goodness for kind, caring roommates and suitemates who love me enough to email my teachers and carry my bags around.<br /><br />but new york was fun! before i got sick. it was lots of fun. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:317879 2008-02-12T15:42:47Z 2008-02-12T15:43:35Z i'm very sick and i don't know what to do because the health center sucks so i'm not sure if it is serious or not but i just want my mom and my dog and my leather couch and popsicles to make my throat feel better.<br /><br />it is so cold here. i'm not even joking. i will never live anywhere other than the lb until i move to la because for realz i am not dealing with the outside until it gets warmer. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:317261 2008-02-09T16:12:54Z 2008-02-09T16:15:45Z Things I should never, ever do again:<br />-Eat as much food as I did yesterday<br />-Stay up until 5am when I have to be on set at noon<br />-Spend money on food<br />-Eat as much food as I did yesterday<br />-Eat the type of food I had yesterday<br />-Eat as much food as I did yesterday<br />-Stumble into my room at 4:30am like a crack head possibly disturbing Madeline's slumber<br /><br />Things I should continue to do as much as possible:<br />-Hang out with my floor and Dan Kwan<br />-Steal bikes<br />-Make paper cakes<br />-Love Sparkles<br />-Venture to South Street Diner<br />-Discover film genres such as mumblecore<br />-Feel important<br />-Feel cool<br />-Be bold<br />-Go to Revere Beach<br /><br />And just a couple more things I should never, ever do again<br />-Eat<br />-Forget layers<br />-Eat<br /><br />It is necessary I point out how messed up my stomach feels after consuming everything that I have in the past 24 hours. I wish I could throw up those 5 meals. Uuuugh. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:316979 2008-02-05T04:36:37Z 2008-02-05T04:36:37Z i just completely purged my facebook.<br /><br />99 albums and over 20 videos deleted. hundreds of pictures untagged. i regret it some already, but i've decided an addiction to the internet is a dumb thing to have. this is not a place for memories (i seem such a hypocrite for having this and writing here but saying that, but it is a step). i will deal with it and maybe put some pictures back up. but mostly, i will deal with it.<br /><br />sha la la la. simplicity, right? 1/31/08* urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:316132 2008-01-27T02:59:24Z 2008-01-27T02:59:24Z it's funny what you miss.<br /><br />it's funny what you don't.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />lalala. i love school. i have already forgotten class exists. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:315899 2008-01-22T03:21:21Z 2008-01-22T03:22:02Z I SWITCHED OUT OF MY 8AM CLASS!<br /><br />YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!<br /><br />my first class is at noon for three days, 2 one day, and never on fridays.<br /><br />lovely. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:315349 2008-01-19T02:14:51Z 2008-01-19T02:14:51Z MY FLIGHT WAS CANCELED!<br /><br />how DUMB is that?<br /><br />now i have nothing to do except not pack some more and write here again and again and again. it is time to GO, yo.<br /><br />this makes me wonder how i will survive my FOUR MONTH LONG SUMMER! spend weeks in new york and bloomsburg and westerly? i think so. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:314911 2008-01-19T00:54:33Z 2008-01-19T00:54:33Z In less than 12 hours I will be on a plane back to Boston. I would be more excited if I was packed, but I'm not. When it was time to go the first time I had been packed for forever. Packing sucks now. I want to get back, I just don't want to transport all my stuff.<br /><br />Abbey said I have the most stuff of anybody she knows. I have the most stuff of anybody I know. I am in love with the idea of being minimalistic but I completely fail to truly grasp the concept.<br /><br />All my stuff is on my bed and my chair and my floor and somehow I have to fit it into two bags, a box being shipped, my purse, or my backpack.<br /><br />Maybe the reason I am so hesitant to pack is because I am afraid this won't be possible. Dang.<br /><br />It is also now too late to do laundry which means one of my bags will have to be devoted to dirty clothes and I'll have to do laundry when I get back. Dang.<br /><br />I need to find my snow pants. I need to find my heart. I will need to find my classes. I will need to get books. I will need to pick up my package.<br /><br />Sunday I want to visit Phil. Tomorrow I want to be able to chew solid food. OUCH. My mouth.<br /><br />Truly it does not hurt very bad at all because my teeth are straight, but I still can't chew. Dang. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:314721 2008-01-17T13:41:45Z 2008-01-17T13:42:55Z my cat just reached for my windowsill and clung there desperately for maybe five whole seconds before crashing in a pile on the floor.<br /><br />if my life was a reality tv show that would be annoying but that moment would have been preserved in time forever and maybe that would be worth it all.<br /><br />HILARIOUS.<br /><br />also. last night i rented "when harry met sally" because rachel made some comment about watching the movie to me and i loved her comment and so i decided it was about time i watched it. i did and i loved it and then on the way up to my room from our den i glanced out the window and there was real live thick snow dancing in the light of the street lamp outside my house. i opened the door and welcomed the snow to charlotte and it was so lovely because i always say snow in my neighborhood is like magic, especially at night.<br /><br />this morning i welcomed the slush and in an hour i will be receiving the first brackets on my teeth. everything about night time is magic, but the illusion fades in the morning because my best male friend would never kiss me like that and the snow never lasts here and the moments I had which weren't reminiscent of 8th grade and having food stuck in the metal stuck in my mouth are gone. i will not welcome the brackets. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:313896 2008-01-09T16:47:59Z 2008-01-09T16:48:43Z I am having trouble waking up.<br /><br />Babysit. Caribou. South Carolina. Atlanta. South Carolina. Home. Amanda? Home. Chapel Hill. Home. Babysit. Home. Babysit. Home. Braces. Home. HOME!<br /><br />The last home is the real one. I suppose I'm busy until then.<br /><br />Yesterday I spent a good amount of time googling Nietzche and Lou Salome. I dreamed Les Miserables was revived by Northwest and I was so glad that I got to be Madame Thenardier again. I also dreamed I fell in love with the unlikely character in all of those romantic comedies in which the girl doesn't realize until the end how great that dorky guy is. I realized early and I really liked him and there was a tiny picture of cars at the beach that for some I thought was a picture of us and all I wanted to do was show him but my mom was being annoying so I didn't want to. He was a younger John Cusack but it didn't look like him. Maybe that is just who I thought he was in my head.<br /><br />My mom wants all this information when I go to Atlanta, like cell phone numbers and addresses, but she doesn't have that when I am at school and that is why I don't like being home.<br /><br />"I don't like not knowing anything."<br /><br />She doesn't know anything when I am at school! I suppose that is the same kind of annoying thing she was doing in my dream.<br /><br />Why am I having such trouble sleeping? This isn't good. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:313855 2008-01-07T07:40:52Z 2008-01-07T07:40:52Z I didn't even make a resolution but I am being so bold this new year.<br /><br />I guess I am just trying to be myself. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:313281 2008-01-02T04:27:24Z 2008-01-02T04:27:24Z TWO YEARS AGO:<br /><br />"I had a weird dream. I was in school I guess, and some stuff happened, but at one point I was talking to Caroline and she said that Robert had gotten into NCSA but they threw him out for cheating. And she told me this while Robert was standing right in front of us. So then Robert takes me into another room and tells me that he wasn't cheating but that he was framed by these four kids. And I say that I believe him but he starts to get really suspicious like I'm lying. He asks me something like don't I want to know the whole story and I say no and he asks why and I say because I trust him. He then asks me why I trust him and I can't really explain it but I say something like you aren't like those four kids, even though I don't know them. So we both went back into this classroom and the four kids he was talking about are there. And I ask them what they're doing there since they should be at NCSA. And one of them tells me that they didn't pass fifth grade, then I'm like are you serious? And he just starts laughing and says are you kidding? So I go back to sit down and somehow get into a verbal fight with these kids even though I'm terrified that one of them will go tell their teacher not to let me into the program. When the bell rings one of girls trips over my headphones for my iPod. Then she looks at them and looks at me and says, you seriously have one of these? You'll never get in, Bob hates iPods. And then I get really angry and start going on about how that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard and how she is just scared that I'm better than her and I make some comment about her framing Robert just because he is talented and she gets this really shocked look on her face then walks away. So I start going to my next class which is yearbook and I gather my stuff up and I have two bookbags and my blanket along with lots of other stuff. And I have a really hard time carrying it all and finally I get to the classroom and I drop off everything except for my blanket which I still am carrying with me. Then for some reason we all go outside, like a firedrill or something. Then I look over and Mrs. O'Neill is holding open a door and she sees that I have this blanket with me and starts laughing, not at me, but still laughing and beckons me inside. And I start to go inside but realize that Mrs. O'Neill shouldn't be there because she has planning that period but then I decide to go back inside anyways."<br /><br />This was private. I think it is hilarious. I realized this past summer that too many good things came out of not getting into NCSA. I realized too many good things came out of not getting into CCC, of not applying to theater programs, of almost (but not) getting expos waived, of life in general.<br /><br /><br /><br />362 DAYS AGO:<br /><br />"Today I found a piece of glitter in my eyeball and threw up a bunch of water after choking at lunch.<br /><br />Today was a pretty good day."<br /><br /><br /><br />I wish I wasn't such a jealous person. My life rules, I guess I just forget that sometimes. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:312866 2007-12-30T22:49:16Z 2007-12-30T22:49:16Z IMOVIE CLOSED AND I WAS ALMOST DONE BUT NOTHING WAS SAVED.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />now i have to import everything again which takes five hours and try to remember my original editing and hate myself forevs. i just haven't edited in so long! normally i save every five seconds! but i forgot! ahhhh! i am so sad.<br /><br />and i am mixing up days like nobody's business. i have no idea what is going on. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:312808 2007-12-30T03:00:22Z 2007-12-30T03:00:22Z I SHOULD BE POSITIVE!<br /><br />It is a good thing I am not going to the Kasteel because I get to be on film shoots and take classes that I want to take and be with Rachel and Tess instead of being without them for a whole year and Phil and Julia will be with me so it will all be good.<br /><br />I have eaten a ridiculous amount of food today and done nothing but slept. I am getting ready to sleep again! I do not LJ so much at school because there are constantly people to play with at school but here the only people who live with me are my sisters and sometimes they won't play.<br /><br />It seriously is ridiculous how much I've been sleeping, but I think it is my body just catching up on some ZzZzzzZzzXXXzzzzzs. I did this one time over like Spring Break or something. My dad, Ellen, and I went to Arizona and some other places and I slept the entire vacation. No joke. The days and the nights. I was just tired. It feels like this now. I found that time hilarious. I will find this time hilarious too, though probably not as much because I am just sleeping through nothing rather than beautiful natural wonders which I may never get the chance to see again.<br /><br />I think it is also hilarious how I choose to use this thing and update people on my life when I have no life.<br /><br />I HAVE NO LIFE NOW. La la la. I am a child who becomes bored without constant entertainment. I miss Madeline. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:312443 2007-12-29T21:53:00Z 2007-12-30T02:40:02Z Dumb thing:<br /><br />1. Emerson's dorms don't open until the 19th or something like that. Elsabeth wasn't planning on going back to school until the 20th, but said she may go back earlier because NYU's dorms stay open.<br /><br />I wish Emerson dorms stayed open. I wanted to get back ASAP for the holidays, but I don't want to stay here alone while all my friends go back to school next week.<br /><br />Maybs I will shell out the xtra ca$h and get my flight switched so I can go to NYC for a few dayz. Who knoes?<br /><br />EDIT:<br /><br />2. I decided not to transfer and that I want to go to the Kasteel too late.<br /><br />I hate myself. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:312314 2007-12-28T20:31:50Z 2007-12-28T20:31:50Z I have this bad, bad habit of working out and being awesome then coming home and eating cookies.<br /><br />La tee da. They are my downfall. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:310733 2007-12-11T16:20:52Z 2007-12-11T16:20:52Z so everyone is revealing their other blogs! here is mine, a photo blog. la la laaaa:<br /><br /><a href="http://caitlinpeak.blogspot.com/">http://caitlinpeak.blogspot.com/</a><br /><br />i started mine before i knew kristin had one, but not too long before. it's incredibly new, and as you can tell, i don't update that much. i want to start though. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:310025 2007-11-28T01:01:25Z 2007-11-28T01:01:25Z i have a sore throat, i lost my keys, and i have no idea what to do with this essay which is due in 14 hours.<br /><br />i am so tired. i wish break had been longer. i wish my room wasn't a wreck. i wish i could not turn in a crap essay but i don't have a choice because i don't know even what i want to argue and my sources aren't ready and i think mla suckssomuch.<br /><br />I CAN'T MAKE MYSELF DO ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. this always happens. i get to a point where i just stop and i cry "can't i be done?!" because i haven't slept or cleaned and a virus has come and made a home in my body where it is unwelcome because it makes me ache.<br /><br />owww. where are my KEYS?<br /><br />procrastinationprocrastination.<br /><br />time to try agaiiiin! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:309822 2007-11-25T03:59:58Z 2007-11-25T03:59:58Z doo doo la la.<br /><br />i bought a really nice cam-mer-raaaah!<br /><br />i love home and i don't want to leave it. this could be the perfect amount of time if when i went back i had a day to do my homework, but i don't. so i have to do it here. which sucks.<br /><br />sometimes i want to grow my hair very long and forget to be creative and transfer to a school that is large and sports oriented and maybe become a nurse or a teacher and get married and be happy.<br /><br />but i'm afraid i've learned what it feels like to have passion, which isn't as great as COMpassion which i would feel as a nurse or a teacher, but is so addictive i don't think i have a choice but to stay in this cycle.<br /><br />chica chica bang boom.<br /><br />what should i do with my life?<br /><br /><img src="http://photos-b.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v151/7/9/1402530092/n1402530092_30037701_2655.jpg" /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:309694 2007-11-21T06:18:56Z 2007-11-21T06:18:56Z I'M 19!<br /><br />I HAVE TO WAKE UP IN 3 HOURS FOR MY FLIGHT HOME!<br /><br />BUT I'M 19! and it feels REALLY fake.<br /><br />not real birthday la la la laaa! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:309206 2007-11-14T01:40:07Z 2007-11-14T01:40:07Z I can tell from the way I feel after I sneeze that I'm on the verge of some illness.<br /><br />I am so in love with the idea of being normal right now. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:308709 2007-11-11T14:31:50Z 2007-11-11T14:31:50Z my birthday is in 10 days! at home it would feel like it. here i keep forgetting. i love my birthday! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:308094 2007-11-03T11:49:43Z 2007-11-03T11:49:43Z Austin made me a mix CD which means I'm listening to the best music in the world right now. I think last night was totally relaxed. I don't know.<br /><br />Phil and I went shopping for him and I love Phil so that was fun.<br /><br />We ate with Jeremy at Bejing on the Common because the dining hall was closed and at 2:30 last night I decided I'm never eating there again because I woke up feeling like I was going to throw up. I still do feel like I'm going to throw up.<br /><br />That is the sucky part about my body. I cannot throw up. Even when my insides want out I cannot for the life of me throw up. So I just feel like I'm going to for a long period of time.<br /><br />It sucks so much. Especially since I'm getting ready to leave for my first film shoot in a couple of minutes(!) It's supposed to rain today but we're mostly filming indoors so it shouldn't be a big deal. I don't know what to bring, if anything. Eek!<br /><br />This music is so, so good.<br /><br />Never go to Bejing on the Common. Ever.<br /><br />It's better here. I think a big part of that is Madeline and I rearranged our room. I have a cave now which I love! Also, Madeline is gone this weekend and even though she is the BEST ROOMMATE EVER and even though I am SHOOTING THIS WEEKEND the little alone time I'll have is going to be great. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ilovemacbeth:307741 2007-10-30T13:45:28Z 2007-10-30T13:45:28Z the red sox parade starts at noon.<br /><br />it should get to my block around 1.<br /><br />there have been people screaming and honking and waiting for it since 9:30 at least. i don't know about beforehand since that is when i woke up.<br /><br />sometimes, i just cannot sleep or do homework here because of the noise. this is one of those times. apparently i won't be able to get to class either because it's supposed to be super packed by noon - which is when my class starts.